Waiting on the waiting game

Welcome to the 2008 edition of getting to know your friends. Change all
the answers so they apply to you, and then send this to your friends
including the person who sent it to you. The theory is that you will
learn a lot of little things about your friends that you might not have
known!

1. What time did you get up this morning? Haven't been to bed since ?

2. Diamonds or pearls? Diamonds

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? 300

4. What is your favorite TV show? Don't have a telly

5. What do you usually have for breakfast? Special K, coffee and 2 tabs

6. What is your middle name? Don't have one

7. What food do you dislike? Cucumber - it's minging

8. What is your favorite CD at the moment? Ghosts - NIN

9. What kind of car do you drive? Don't - got fiona

10. Favorite sandwich? Subway

11. What characteristic do you despise? liars

12. Favorite item of clothing? SHOES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

13. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? A home

14. Favorite brand of clothing? D&G

15. Where would you retire? Somewhere warm

16. What was your most recent memorable event? Weekend in Pompy

18. Furthest place you are sending this? UK

19. Person you expect to send it back first? Toothfairy

21. When is your birthday? 9th Mar

22. Are you a morning person or a night person? Night

23. What is your shoe size? 7

24. Pets? no but want a cat!!!

25. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with us? No

26. What did you want to be when you were little? Bigger

27. How are you today? Tired as always

29. What is your favourite flower? Old fashioned roses

30. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to? Oct 3rd - back to UK

32. What is your full name? Glen Oliver

33. What are you listening to right now? Sound of cleaning

34. What was the last thing you ate? Feta and spinach pie

35. Do u wish on stars? Sometimes

36. If you were a crayon, what colour would you be? Green

37. How is the weather right now? hot

38. Last person you spoke to on the phone? Angel

39. Favourite drink? Morgans or Vodka or Guinness or .... lol

40. Favourite restaurant? Nearest nice one!

41. Hair colour? Blondish

42. What was your favourite toy as a child? lego

43. Summer or winter? Summer

44. Hugs or kisses? Both

45. Chocolate or Vanilla? Strawberry

46. Coffee or tea? Coffee

47. Do you want your friends to send this you back? Yes

48. When was the last time you cried? " and up steps Micheal Gray "

49. What is under your bed? 2 more beds

50. What did you do last night? watched DVD in bed

51. What are you afraid of? Moths???? Or cucumbers

52. Salty or sweet? Sweet

53. How many keys on your key ring? 2

54. How many years at your current job? 5

55. Favorite day of the week: All the bloody same!

56. How many towns have you lived in? God knows

57. Do you make friends easily? sometimes

58. How many people will you send this to? Dunno yet

59. How many will respond? All of them i hope

60. Do you like finding out all this stuff about your friends? Yes

Just watched the sun rise thru the mist of the Arabian Gulf while I was having a quick smoke on the signal deck and a school of whales ( about 9 of them ) surfaced beside the ship, did that water blowy thing for a few mins and then buggered off! It's the little things like that that make this job seem worthwhile

Try out this mobile phone tracker, it's great! Track any connected mobile phone using a satellite map with coverage anywhere in the world!!!!Log on to www.track-your-partner.com http://www.track-your-partner.com

Dunno if this works, CWG and Dee sent it me and they are v v good

Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the teenager at the counter.
'You don't?' I replied.
'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply.
'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?'
'That's right.'
So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.

2.
I was checking out at the local Target with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed .
After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the 'divider,' looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.
Not finding the bar code she said to me, 'Do you know how much this
I said to her 'I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today.'
She said, 'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.
3.
A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM 'thingy.'
4.
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car 'Do you need some help?' I asked.
She replied, 'I knew I should have replaced the battery in this remote. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?'
'Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked.
'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered, handing it and the car keys to me.
As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, 'Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk.'
5.
Several years ago, we had a junior typist who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?'
'Just use copier machine paper,' the secretary told her.
With that, the junior took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five 'blank' copies.
6.
My neighbour works in the I.T. department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers.
One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branches who had this question:
'I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?'
7.
Police in Dubbo NSW interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopier machine. The message 'He's lying' was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth.
Believing the 'lie detector' was working, the suspect confessed.

Life is tough... It's tougher if you're stupid

Well those nice Omani people kept us waiting for 2 days before we got alongside - at 7 o'clock at night but that didn't stop us
First day was written off as was duty however day 2 started badly as my relief was taken to hospital after having her drink spiked and my other bod had to take a rugby player to hospital with a suspected broken rib - turned out to be just tissue damage so he will live
Day 2 ended in Rock Bottoms watching a cover band, not tooo bad but drinks were expensive
How to cure hang over ... get up 2 hours after going to bed, spend 2 hours in the back of a 4x4, walk 2 miles over shingle, pebbles and rocks ... find a 30 foot high outcrop and jump off it in to a wadi ( river type thing ) repeat this several times until it's time to swim into a cave and do something very similar - oh and then walk back in 45 degree heat, cures any hangover
Had a nice meal for 30 rialls, all you can drink during your meal was free - 3 and a half hours that meal took Had kudu which is some kind of deer antelope thing - tasted like chicken NOT
Finally had to store ship ( bring the shopping in ) for 200 people for 3 weeks! The thermometer only went up to 50 and it hit that fairly early so we aren't too sure what the temp reached lol!
Oh well back to sea for a half 4 start Sunday morning exercising with the Omanis Happy days

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet, and have
dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl
announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and
make love for the first time The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had
sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. He
tells the pharmacist it's his first time and the pharmacist helps the boy
for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about
condoms and sex. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many
condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy
insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it
being his first time and all. That night, the boy shows up at the girl's
parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. 'Oh, I'm so excited
for you to meet my parents, come on in!' The boy goes inside and is taken
to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly
offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is
still deep in prayer, with his head down. 10 minutes pass, and still no
movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the
girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, 'I had no idea you
were this religious.' The boy turns, and whispers back, 'I had no idea
your father was a pharmacist.'

seem to hate the Armed Forces?

http://www.helpforheroes.org.uk/
Its a site raising money for ALL UK service people injured during the current conflicts going on in the world ( you know where I mean! ) PS have been volunteering to go for months but they wont let me off

Well it's been flippy ages since have been anywhere, the high light of today was tug-of-war! Supposed to be having a film on the flight deck but had to RV with the Yanks and as we speak they are 3 hours late, so it was cancelled for nothing Has anyone seen Note Book? App it's a weepy but anything diff is welcome ( have just bought all the Sunday afternoon B&W RAF films to watch - well have seen all the NAvy ones lol )
Supposed to get into Muscat on Monday and at the Min we haven't been allocated a berth ffs! Come over here, train there lot, help them chase smugglers and pirates and this is what we get, yeah cheers!
As you can tell am having on of THEM days - not a lots gone right yet and it's gone pipe down!

United Kingdom Needs A Leader Like This

Prime Minister John Howard -Australia

Muslims who want to live under Islamic Sharia law were told on Wednesday to get out ofAustralia, as the government targeted radicals in a bid to head off potential terror attacks.

Separately, Howard angered some Australian Muslims on Wednesday by saying he supported spy agencies monitoring the nation's mosques. Quote: 'IMMIGRANTS, NOT AUSTRALIANS, MUST ADAPT. Take It Or Leave It. I am tired of this nation worrying about whether we are offending some individual or their culture.. Since the terrorist attacks onBali, we have experienced a surge in patriotism by the majority of Australians.'

'This culture has been developed over two centuries of struggles, trials and victories by millions of men and women who have sought freedom'

'We speak mainly ENGLISH, not Spanish, Lebanese, Arabic, Chinese, Japanese, Russian, or any other language. Therefore, if you wish to become part of our society . Learn the language!'

'Most Australians believe in God. This is not some Christian, right wing, political push, but a fact, because Christian men and women, on Christian principles, founded this nation, and this is clearly documented. It is certainly appropriate to display it on the walls of our schools. If God offends you, then I suggest you consider another part of the world as your new home, because God is part of our culture.'

We will accept your beliefs, and will not question why. All we ask is that you accept ours, and live in harmony and peaceful enjoyment with us.'

'This is OUR COUNTRY, OUR LAND, and OUR LIFESTYLE, and we will allow you every opportunity to enjoy all this. But once you are done complaining, whining, and griping about Our Flag, Our Pledge, Our Christian beliefs, or Our Way of Life, I highly encourage you take advantage of one other great Australian freedom,

'THE RIGHT TO LEAVE'.'

'If you aren't happy here then LEAVE. We didn't force you to come here. You asked to be here. So accept the country YOU accepted'

WOMAN'S POEM

Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong.

One who loves to listen long,

One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,

Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man, who'll make love to my mind,

Knows what to answer to 'how big is my behind?'
I pray that this man will love me to no end,

And always be my very best friend.

MAN'S POEM

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac

with huge tits

who owns a liquor store

and a golf course.

This doesn't rhyme

and I don't give a shit.

When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend.

When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.

In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability.

When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement.

When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition.

When I turned 30, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground, so I married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.

I am older and wiser now, and am looking for a girl with big tits

Just fill in a word - it's easy
Your going to star in my next ......